I think it annoys God if you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice.
- ~Alice Walker From "The Color Purple

Today has been such a beautiful day [and it is only half over]......the glorious feeling I had from the moment I awoke to a delicious summer morning.....cool, sunny, breezy and just utterly perfect, was echoed again at church. Emma Sage radiates such joy at church, she truly feels the spirit. Today was a baptism, so this Momma's heart always swells with the overwhelming love that only a Mother can feel......a pure unconditional love for your child, every child.

Then our word of the lord today came from Luke 14:7......and it resonated with me.

I choose to be the humble quest, to open my heart, my life to everyone.........not only those who might serve my life some purpose. I choose pure unconditional love and friendship and fellowship.

and then this song came to mind............and I had to share. Being a Mother of a child with different needs has opened my heart and mind in ways I could have never imagined.

But the biggest realization has been that the gift of unconditional love and acceptance are truly the greatest gifts we have.....and ones that are freely bestowed upon us by GOD.

the ebb and flow of life......

~~~life has been very rich and full of late, and at times confusing and overwhelming. I find when I am being swept into the raging currents of the river, it is best for me to just hold on and enjoy the ride, keeping sight in the distance for smoother waters.......whereas that time I can relax a moment and sit and reflect and in the case of my photography and blog, sit and edit and post.

I have also come to find that the paradigm of Facebook, as made it easier for me to leave little snippets of life and the goings on of Emma Sage, her siblings and myself there......thus this blog, this passion of mine to share with the world the normalcy of difference gets neglected.

But, even though we have be moving through currents, they are not all that bad and overwhelming......in fact, most of it has been exhilarating and bursting with love and life.

Emma Sage has been having a glorious summer......she is so darn sweet and just the best adaptable child ever. It has been a full year since I had to leave the life I lived [and absolutely cherished] to return to the 'real' world to provide benefits [and income] for my family.

In this time, Emma Sage has accepted these radical changes [I had never, ever been away from her] with such grace and understanding. My days are long, I leave before 8 and return after 6 but this little girl has just gone with the flow.

We now have a new change in her routine about to set forth, as Otto [my little man] was the one who would watch her for me after school until I got home. Well, my little man is growing up and in high school now and a whole world of activities and life awaits him. He is playing football at Voorhees and has informed me that he is planning on running for Freshman Class President. So my wonderful built-in babysitter is no longer available [I was a spoiled and lucky Momma to have such a great son who did this job without pay and without complaint] [although I did surprise him often with Xbox games and Itune cards.....]

I have decided to use the after school program for Emma Sage's care which is run by Camp Bernie YMCA. It is a funny coincidence because this is the same camp where Emma Sage's Daddy worked at in summers during high school and it had been owned at that time by friends of mine.

Momma's heart is heavy at putting her in aftercare, as I was the Mother who all the children whose parents had to work came to after school and I watched for them......allowing them the deliciousness of being in a loving home, with fresh baked goodies and the ability to just 'unwind' after school.........so I am sad.

On the other-hand, Emma Sage seems to be quite excited about the prospect of aftercare, so I have been finding the silver-lining in this new adventure.

I am editing photographs this afternoon and it is my hope of hopes to get back into my routine of updating here......sharing all my little imp is up too.

I will sign-off on one funny.

This is Emma Sage's new puppy [more on Rasta to follow]......well, Emma Sage absolutely adores this puppy. They are inseparable. Greta decided to take Rasta to college for a week. The first night Emma Sage cried a bit for her puppy but got over her 'missing her' quickly. The next evening I tell Emma Sage that Greta had called and that Rasta had pee'd on the chair.



Emma Sage laughs and then says "Great, my plan is working"

so I look at her and say "your plan"

and she said "yes, my plan. If Rasta is bad Greta won't want her anymore"

lol......

She seriously thought that the puppy peeing was part of her great master plan [not just because she is a young puppy and not 100% trained]

lol

Bob Marley - Redemption Song Live In Dortmund, Germany

“There is no way to peace, peace is the way.”
~A. J. Muste

My Greatest Blessing in Life is becoming a Mother

THE BIRTH
At 6:29am she was born.
Of course she was helpless
and frail
to the path before her, but she was also
determined and
glowing with a newfound warmth.
Her body surged with
changes that shook the
foundation of
self image she may have known.
Cries arose with a welcoming echo
where before
there were many moons of silent growth.
Safe in the newness of
shared body warmth,
she looked for the first time at the
life so attached to her own.
Relief,
joy, and
utter love
swept over her as the
soothing milk
worked relentlessly at arrival to hungry lips.
She needed not a name,
for that was something she had been granted
long ago,
during another birth
where she was the one
joining the world as an infant,
but not today.
At 6:29am a mother was born.
~By Laura Schmitt

21 years ago today, at 1:16pm, I was given the greatest blessing in my life.....At that moment I became a Mother. Twenty-one years ago today at 1:16pm, my sweet Katrina Leigh entered into our world and christened me into Motherhood. A Gift that I have been blessed to have received three more times since and a position in life ~ that truly defines who I am....I am a Mother.

Katrina Leigh,,,,,who is away today partying in New York City with her sister and friends is spending this special day away from home,,,,but, while it may seem sad, it actually is glorious because I have done my job well.....my oldest daughter [and her sister Greta] have their wings spread wide and are flying.

Here are a few pictures from her scrapbook that I just wanted to share. I so wish we had the technology for digital photographs 21 years ago, because many of my pictures of my first precious baby are on Polaroid film that darkens as the years go by, and I was not able to afford film and developing on large scale back then.....but these images are very precious to me....because it reminds me how innocent we both were back then.....both learning as we went forward through life as Mother and Daughter.

Happy 21st Birthday!!!


....Moments after her birth and my birth of Motherhood


On her First birthday, with my Beloved Mother.....she loved birthday crowns from the get-go


My Birthday girl...


and she still loves Birthday Crowns at 21!!!!

Please come Vote for Camp PALS

My Passion for Photography

is growing my leaps and bounds. It is now slipping over from behind the lens to at the computer working magic with Textures and Action.

Pop on over to this blog to see what I am so excited about and you too can join in on the passion:

Soulographer

......I am inspired!!!

My heart is calling me to adopt again.........need to find a way.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

.....how do you say 'Thank you'

to an amazing group of people who have gone above and beyond the requirements of their job and embraced your child and allowed them to grow and blossom into their fullest potential?

Emma Sage is just about to finish up her 2nd grade year.......fully included in a co-teaching classroom with two amazing teachers and the classroom has one incredible aide, who all see each child for the unique individual they are and give them the tools to reach for the stars.

So I put together the following 'Thank you' gift for each one.

A Tote-bag that is hand-painted with tulips to symbolize 'Down syndrome' and the "Welcome to Holland" reference [along with the essay tucked inside]



Inside the following tote-bag is:



....a Sadoku book with the sentiment 'Thank you for helping me with math'


.....a box of note cards with 'Thank you for letting me express myself'


.....a box of tea with the thoughts 'Thank you for your patience and nurturing and being a part of my life'


.....a candle with the sentiment 'Thank you for letting me shine'


.......a gift certificate for the Califon Book Shop with the thoughts 'Thank you for encouraging my love of books'


....sunscreen with the thoughts 'Thank you for keeping me safe'


.......a bag of sunflower seeds with the sentiment 'Thank you for recognizing my potential'


.....a gift certificate to the Long Valley Pub and Brewery with the thoughts 'Thank you for Celebrating my accomplishments with me'

and there you have it.......



The best way I could come up with for saying 'Thank you' to such an incredible group of educators!

My Sweet Girl is Nine Years Old

I can't believe my little girl is Nine Years Old. It seems like yesterday I found out I was carrying her little soul in my womb.

At that time, I could not imagine how my life journey would be so Richly Blessed........how many incredible people and experiences would enter into our lives because of an extra chromosome.

Her Birth was one of the most Magical and Precious moments in my life, because her unplanned birth gave me a gift I had only dreamed of......of delivering my own child ~ myself.

This child truly fills our days with laughter and joy. Yes, there are tears and frustrations at times, but on a whole, it truly is amazing how much happiness she radiates.

Her birth story is here, if you would like to read how this little imp entered into our lives and forever changed this Momma's heart and soul.

Happy 9th Birthday my Sweet Emma Sage ~ we love you dearly!

Emma Sage was very concerned that it be 'Mother's Day' first and then her birthday. I always decorate the house with balloons and steamers to help make the children's birthday Magical...so yesterday I hear her come down to make me breakfast in bed and she 'gasps' and says "Wow, it really is my birthday too!" [how cute is that?]

To My Soul-Sisters *~* Happy Mother's Day

To You, My Sisters
© Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters."

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs. Some of our children ungergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy. We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars

My little girl loves to sing this song to me, and how fitting it was part of our Mass this morning.....as well as the baptism of a precious little girl named Olivia. Emma Sage just radiated love when she was talking to me during the service and went over to say 'peace be with you' to our newest member of our Church community.

Lately, I have become a bit overwhelmed with life.....just too many things to do and not enough time. But this little Imp of mind seems to always find a way to bring me to a sense of peace and balance.

She has me stop to smell the flowers.....she takes her time walking through the garden center [as I am on a mission to get the things on my list so I can get home in the gardens and plant] but there she is, taking her time, touching the foliage, smelling the flowers, asking me "What is this plant called?"

Yesterday she stops and picks a petunia.....she gets down on her knee and hands it to me and then kisses my hand. I ask "are you pretending to ask me to marry you?" [like her beau Ryan did in Boston [click here to see the proposal] and she says "NO......I just wanted to tell you I love you and to show you how beautiful the color purple it is on the inside" Sure enough, the flower was the most exquisite color purple......but in my hurrying to just 'buy' what I had come in for, I have walked right by......noticing the purple flowers, but not really 'LOOKING' at the incredible hue of purple.

Thank you my sweet Sage........you have taught your Momma well.

"Katrina, I have three words for you"

"Katrina, I have three words for you" my little imp says to her big sister with the most sincere look on her face.

Katrina responds "And what are they?"

"Rice Krispy Treats" Emma Sage says with the utmost seriousness

so Katrina turns to her and waits........and waits. Nothing.

So she says "and the meaning of this?" thinking that she has some wise, profound comment to make.

Emma Sage looks at her and say "Nothing, they are just words."

lol!!!!

So you think Momma should make another batch of those marshmellowy treats?

*~Happy Birthday Mommy~*

Today is my dear Mother's Birthday......she would have been 68 years old.

I can not believe it has been three an a half years since you left your earthly bounds......and how much it aches to not have your physical presence here.

I miss you Mommy.........and I love you, oh so, very very much!

Happy, Happy Birthday Mommy, I can't seem to stop crying today. We all miss you so dearly.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

an Emma Sage funny ~~~~

Last Saturday night I had poured a glass of wine. I was busy getting ready to go out and left it on the counter.

A little while goes by and I head into the kitchen to take a sip of wine. As soon as I sipped, I literally spit the wine out into the sink. I look over at the 3/4 full bottle and then kinda of glance into the dining room where Rick was and think to myself [I sure hope he isn't trying to poison me] I dump the goblet of wine out and then just dump the rest of the bottle. It takes me a while to finish a bottle of wine and I have one of those wine stoppers that you pump the air out to keep the wine fresh and I just figured the wine went sour/bad.

Last night Daddy called to talk to Emma Sage and asks me how my wine was the other night? I laugh and said 'why, you trying to poison me' and he laughs and says "no, but the other other I caught out of the side of my eye Emma Sage over near the counter and she had the salt shaker".

I turn to Emma Sage and say "Emma Sage, did you put salt in my wine?"

She looks up at me with those sweet, innocent eyes and says "NO" and then quickly looks away [a tell-tale sign of a fib]

and then I say "Emma Sage" in a little bit of a stern/questioning voice. To which she replies:

"OK, I did it.......I just wanted to make your wine taste better!"

LOL!!!!

So sadly, I come to learn that I should have sampled the whole bottle, because I was quick to waste perfectly good wine!

Right me up.............

"Joy, sorrow, tears, lamentation, laughter -- to all these music gives voice, but in such a way that we are transported from the world of unrest to a world of peace, and see reality in a new way, as if we were sitting by a mountain lake and contemplating hills and woods and clouds in the tranquil and fathomless water" - Albert Schweitzer

Sunday is March 21st.....it is also World Down syndrome Awareness Day.

If you have time....watch this video and listen to the words. Look with your heart and soul at the world you live in......realize that people that you might glance past, are living and loving life the same as you.... See More

Broaden your horizons.......

Celebrate!

Oh how divine.....

Pop on over to Simply me to see an incredible give away, that I would be tickled pink to win.......

Simply me

Working it out through song.....

My whole life, music has always played an important part. When Emma Sage was first born, I noticed that if I played various pieces of music, she responded differently, and began to incorporate music into all of our 'therapy' [you might recall, but I provided all of Emma Sage's therapies at home or in programs in the general population [we were opted out of EI]....music, dance and movement.

So, as I have been working through somethings in my own life, I turn once again to music to help sooth my soul and clear my mind.

Emma Sage is more than happy to assist Momma in singing and dancing.

Of late, I have fallen in love with this performer......and I'm thinking I have a new 'favorite'

On My Soap Box.....

A friend of mine wrote so eloquently about how I feel about what is going on in the 'political' arena......please read: On My Soap Box

and then please read this blog post......

The Unknown Contributor - It wasn't meant that way......