Over the last week I have gone through one of the hardest hurdles of my marriage. During this week I have learned so much about myself, about my husband and about the love and great friendship we have shared with each other. My heart and soul have been broken and I need to search deep within me to figure out how to move forward. The thought of choices has come to mind many times over this week of reflection and it brought me back to a piece I wrote for my 39th birthday [yikes, that was two years ago].
So as part of my healing and returning to a state of grace, I share this piece about Choices as it pertains to our youngest daughter, Emma Sage.
Choices..........Rambling thoughts on my 39th Birthday.........
I just finished reading ‘Choosing Naia” by Mitchell Zuckoff.
While it pains me to think that in many peoples eyes, our precious child-Emma Sage, is looked upon as a choice. I wanted to reflect on the fact that we are so blessed to be living in a society filled with choices.
So as I turn 39 I want to celebrate choices!!!
I choose Love…………. The love of friendship, the love of family, the unconditional love as a mother~the love of my children…..the love I feel everyday as Emma Sage sleeps snuggled in my arms….her beautiful blue eyes, looking into mine while she nurses.
I choose Joy……. To marvel at the sunrise, to celebrate the sunset, to watch the stars and howl at the moon. I choose the giggles of Emma Sage as I tickle her toes and belly and the joy on her siblings and fathers faces as she calls out their names..
I choose Peace……. Since Emma Sage’s conception, I have the greatest sense of peace. I live in peace knowing that Emma Sage is not a choice, she is a blessing from God.
I choose Patience….. I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. I will live in the moment. I celebrate patience as Emma Sage learns about our world…..taking her time to master a skill I will celebrate patience.
I choose Kindness…… I refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I watch my sweet child as she opens her heart and arms to all that she meets and I celebrate kindness.
I choose Goodness……. May my days be filled with compassion and respect. May I learn the lessons of goodness from a soul that is pure and good……the soul of Emma Sage.
I choose Gentleness……. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. I choose to be gentle, like my little girl as she strokes her cat Moe, saying, “ahhhh kitty”.
Today I celebrate choices……I celebrate the fact that my daughter, Emma Sage, is not a choice, she is a precious child. May her life touch others so profoundly, that they will leave her presence carrying the message to others, a diagnosis of T21 is not a choice, it is a blessing.
and take a deep breath ~ and exhale and allow myself to reflect, knowing to always put my trust in GOD and his plan for my life.