Tuesday, November 09, 2004

"Life's sublime mysteries"

Today is my daughter’s half year birthday! Today Emma Sage is 3 ½! It was also this week, four years ago, that I first heard the words, “Your baby might have Down syndrome”. Both events, have changed my life tremendously….both have changed my life so profoundly and wonderfully, that even if I had tired to plan these events, I would have never been able to match their perfection. Perfection you say? Didn’t I just write the words Down syndrome? Yes, I did, and Down syndrome is perfection, the perfection of an extra chromosome on the 21st pair.

I found this quote this afternoon while reading through a book while waiting for the doctor’s office to call……Emma Sage and Claudia were busy playing kitchen….making me the most delicious play dough apple pie and cookies. I sat skimming my book and watching my little girl playing with her dear friend. Listening to their talk “Would you like more tea?” asks Claudia, “yes, please’ responds Emma Sage, to their little giggles when they find something amusing. Busy at work they were ~ mixing, rolling, cutting out shapes with cookie cutters and baking their yummy treats in the wooden oven. My eyes glanced at this quote and I realized how perfect it was as I reflected back on my daughters 3 ½ years of life and back four years to when the diagnosis of Down syndrome entered into our lives.

“Be willing not to make anything happen this week. Instead, allow happenstance to help you. Life’s sublime mysteries only become our everyday miseries when we insist on creating a detailed blueprint that leaves nothing to chance, especially our happiness.”

When we were told a 13 week ultrasound scan that the baby had an abnormal nuchual translucency and it could mean Down syndrome. We did not allow those words and possibilities cloud our minds,,,we used those words to research and find out about Down syndrome. Those words began our journey on an amazing path. I met a dear friend online because of those words. She responded to my request for information,,,,while opening her heart and sharing her precious daughter Tarenne with me. If I had allowed that moment when given the possibility of a ‘Sublime Mystery’ to cloud my mind and close my heart and harden my soul, and fill my days with misery, I would have never come to appreciate the gift I had been given.

As for ‘Detailed Blueprint”, our Emma Sage has proven from the moment of her conception, that she follows no blueprint. She was born unexpectedly at home, thus changing our well laid out plans of birthing in the hospital with our midwife…..but her birth brought us great happiness,,,,,a joy we would have never known if our ‘detailed blueprint’ had been followed. I got to deliver a baby…something I have always wanted to do in my lifetime. I birthed three other babies before Emma Sage,,,but this was our birth,,,her and I together. I was Mother and midwife. I was the one who announced to my family “Oh look, she does have Down syndrome”. Chance allowed us the opportunity to take something that seems so negative [the diagnosis of Down syndrome] and allow the beauty and happiness of the moment to be celebrated.

And so our days unfold. Our little girl has brought so much to our family, to our lives, to our community. She is a ray of sunshine,,,,,,,,she is so expressive,,,so caring, so loving, so joyful. She is a precious gift and we are so thankful for the chance to be part of her life.

Happy half year birthday little girl…….thank you for filling our days with such love and happiness and giving us the chance to experience Life’s sublime Mysteries!

1 comment:

Monica said...

Hey girlfriend! Great to see you writing in your blog. I am enjoying reading about your precious Emma Sage :).