Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Quiet Reflection.....

I have been spending the last few weeks in quiet reflection.....hibernating in a way, cocooned ~ surrounded by everything precious and familiar to me. I have been cherishing this 'alone' time.....listening to beautiful music, reading, baking and cooking warm nourishing food ~ watching the wonder of nature, as we have had beautiful snow falls that keep my scenery blanketed in white, giving a perfect backdrop for birds to come to my feeders and my children to squeal in delight sleigh riding and ice skating.

We have had some unsettling news [and I know so many in our great nation are experiencing the same feelings in this shaky economy] and I have been searching deep ~ re-examining my comfort zone and praying that Rick finds a job in his industry soon.

During this time, my dear cousin Beth has been battling a beast ~ and all through her fight, her spirit and resolve have given me strength and clarity. She recently shared with me an essay she wrote about her 'Easter Basket' and how, even through 38 moves in her lifetime [yes, you read that right - 38 moves] this basket found its way with her in each move.....a basket that held memories more valuable than any materialistic object could hold. It had a resounding effect on me, as so many thoughts, scenarios and "what-ifs" have been racing through my head, but after reading this essay and learning about Beth's life journey in greater detail has made me realize that change and uncertainty are fine - as it is just part of the ebb and flow of our lives and that we need to feel and experience all of our emotions....but what is most important is how we ultimately respond to these emotions.

So while hibernating this winter - I have realized the core truths of myself - that I need very little - that I have the world in my children, husband, family and friends - that if I must change where I live - where I work - it is just an external change, it does not change who I am, it only strengthens me.

While I've been quietly reflecting......my little imp has been busy celebrating her life. This child is truly the most incredible little thing I have ever known.....as she has this way about her that just sparkles and puts everything into perspective.

A sweet comment from her: At Christmas we traveled to my brother and sister-in-laws upstate New York. At dinner, she was telling friends gathered at the table about herself.....she told them she is in First grade, that she models, she swims and that she is a 'Cupcake!!!'......laughing, I realized she meant to say 'Brownie' Girl Scout.

That is my little girl.....she is the sweetest 'Cupcake' around!


Lovin Mama said...

I'll send up some prayers for your husband and his job search. My hubby was laid off when Goldie was 2 months old. It was a long 18 months, but I can honestly say we are much better off than we were before. But, he also had to come out of his comfort zone. He drives 45 minutes to work instead of 3 and works Fri thru Mon. Our girls have learned the difference between wants and needs and got to spend some extra time with Daddy.

Glad to hear you are enjoying this winter.

Anonymous said...

That is one of the cutest comments!I sure hope that things settle for you soon and end on the upside of life. Sending you positive thoughts.

Jeanne said...

I will say prayers.
I love all you post........
Love Jeanne

My name is Sarah said...

Hi Tara, This is Joyce. I am deeply moved by your post today. Please know your family is in our prayers. Change is never easy, and adding uncertainty to the mix is even harder. I'm sending warm vibes and huge hugs to you.

Johnna said...

You sound very wise. Reflection, allowing yourself some cocooning, wise things to do when facing uncertainty and transitions.

jennifergg said...

Me, too! We're in the same boat, you and I...uncertain future, but very grateful for the gifts of family and friends...and a winter spent cocooning.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.


All 4 My Gals said...

Oh TM, I had no idea. I am so sorry honey. You prayed me through this twice and you know I will be doing the same for you daily.