Today is a very emotional day for me, as I have lost the last ‘Mother’ in my life…..my sweet, beloved Mamie.
I am a Mother myself [and at times feel so inadequate and inept at that privilege of being called ‘Mother’]……and long to have my own Mother or Grandmother comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. It is a vulnerable feeling……as you feel truly alone, as our ‘Mothers’ are our special gifts, the ones that comfort and console and even if they can’t make things right ~ they let you know you are loved and adored unconditionally…..and that knowledge makes everything alright in the world.
Today is also the Chinese Lunar New Year.
I have an affinity for the moon, so the Lunar New Year has always been a special time for me.
It is the year of the Rabbit.
As with any tradition, there are a myriad of interpretations as to the meaning of what this means, especially with something as uncertain and broad as a full year.
Reflecting on the Beauty and Grace of the Matriarch of my family, I am going to identify the characteristics of my ‘Rabbit’ based on the spirit of Mamie.
I choose to make this the year of peace, of the calming of my nerves, so that I can embrace and deal with whatever challenges may arise. I am focusing on creating a calm, peaceful sustainable lifestyle. Mamie was the most brilliant at being thrifty and she and my PopPop planted the most incredible gardens……….in honor of her spirit, I will work hard to make my gardens as bountiful and beautiful as hers.
As the rabbit is the symbol of the moon, I vow to celebrate by stepping out into the night often, and to look at the moon, to howl at it and to visualize myself surrounded in its glow. In that glow I will bounce my dreams off of and celebrate the gift of each day.
This particular Year of the Rabbit is a metal one — as opposed to a water, wood, fire or earth Year of the Rabbit. To get a feel for what that might mean, I consider the attributes of metal, and the ones I choose to focus on and subsequently emulate are firmness of principles and strength of purpose. With these in mind, I vow to hold true to my ideals.
In Chinese thought, the negative aspect or emotion of the Year of the Rabbit is grief; the positive emotion for the year is courage. Once again, I choose to decide which aspects to embrace and which to ignore, and in this case I shall endeavor to reflect fearlessness and in the moment of this day, I embrace the grief of the loss of my beloved Mamie……but in that grief ~ I look to the amazing Blessing she was in my life and celebrate her life and vow to embody her Grace in all of my daily actions.
Now the meaning is set and the day is upon me, let me move forward in Grace.