Saturday, September 25, 2010

Conversations with Emma Sage

This child can always make me feel a full range of emotions by her sweet conversation's.

Earlier today we were out running errands.

She asks me "Mommy will you get me a car for my birthday?"

I reply "A real Car?"

"Yes, a real car. A real yellow car" she responds.

so I say "For which birthday?" and she pipes in

"For my Sweet 16 silly"

lol........seriously. The funny thing is, she is absolutely serious about getting her drivers license. I know it has been achieved by others with Down syndrome, and I don't doubt my little girl at all that she too will achieve this goal....considering her mind is already set on it. [and she is stubborn when she has her mind set on something!]

Then a little while later she says to me......

"In nine more years I will be in college"

I look in the rear view mirror at her grinning face.

"Yes, 9 more years I reply" my heart sinking a little bit at the thought~

and then she asks "Are you going to miss me?" about tugging at this Mommas heartstrings.

"Yes, I say....with all my heart and soul I will miss you."

"good" is her matter-of-fact response.

I guess this Momma can't keep her baby from growing up.


Stand By Me - completely unknown artists

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects." ~Herman Melville ............we are so Blessed to be part of the collective whole. Celebrate this day!!!!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

There are times........

that I realize that I am living in a bubble. I live my life purely, simply, compassionately and lovingly. I have nurtured, nourished and raised my children in love. I have taught them to think outside of themselves and I am very proud of all the volunteering they do, on their own, with their own free will.

I had a Mother who gave the clothes off her backs for others.....her food, her heart, her home. I aspire to live as authentically as my Beloved Mother did, as her greatest gift was of friendship for those who truly needed a friend.

I am humbled to see others give freely, of their time, of their money, of their talents and of their hearts.

I try to live each day ~ with the thoughts that if I can do something to help another human being, I have done a good days work.

Through this blog, I have tried to show the world the normalcy of difference. To see that everyone is a child of GOD.

I live in the richest country of the world.....I live in a Valley that is picturesque, fertile, safe and truly a little piece of heaven on earth.

I was born into Freedom. I have never wanted for food, clothing or shelter.

and then I meet a friend from Burma, and my eyes are wide open. Everything that I know, I believe, I feel ~ is shaken........because I really don't know.

I don't know what it is like to live without the right to speak freely, to worship freely, to Mother without the fear of my child dying of starvation, or from abuse, or from random acts of violence.

I don't know what it is like to not have fresh water, enough food to eat, a place to live, clothes to protect me from the elements or the freedom to live in peace.

I truly don't know...........

I want to be a catalyst for change.

Please join me in raising our voices for Freedom for all people.....................

"We need not think alike to love alike." ~Francis David

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

Rest in Peace Man in Black.......

In reflection of September 11th - may we all find it in our heart to sing a song of Freedom, for all people.

Freedom from Prejudice

Freedom from Hunger

Freedom from persecution and slavery

Freedom from hatred and cold hearts

More Magic from my dear friend Fran.......

I believe in angels........

both celestial and earth born.

My dear online Fran is exactly earth born Angel. She always knows how to touch my heart and brighten my days.

Our paths crossed by the amazing paradigm of the Internet.......she stumbled upon me because of my sweet little earth Angel Emma Sage and my blogging and capturing her life in photographs and words.

On her own, she reached out to me and asked to use a photograph.........thanking me for allowing her to do just that. Little did she know, I am the one who gives her 'Thanks' everyday.......for seeing the beauty in my child - Emma Sage and for creating for me gifts of Magic by her talent in taking my photographs and turning them into precious memories for me.

Today I give Fran and all the other amazing souls out there who reach out to others and who see the beauty in all of GODs children.

Peace and love, Tara Marie

Friday, September 10, 2010


Nine years ago..........September 11, 2001

Nine years ago.............our world shook. It wasn't because of a natural disaster, like the Tsunami or Hurricane Katrina, but it was a far worse disaster ~ because it was created by human hatred

Life for our family is good [we are truly blessed] and the morning of September 11, 2001 found us in our typical daily routine.........up early, breakfast, drive the children to school and then Emma Sage and I would come home to a quite morning.

Rick was in Montreal, Canada, for school [we had been up to see him a week earlier and spent a glorious vacation touring Montreal, driving home Labor Day weekend.........because of the terror attacks Rick was not able to return home to us for days.]

I dropped Katrina and Greta off at Woodglen and then drove down the valley to drop Otto off at school at Valley View. On the way to Valley View I noticed a plane flying very low..........lower than I have ever seen a commercial flight on the flight pattern we see from our area heading to Newark Airport. I notice planes all the time because of Ricks career in aviation. I shrugged it off as maybe I was just off my bearings that morning.

It was truly a glorious September day,,,,,,,,,,,,,the sky was bright blue, the air was dry and warm, the landscape was draped in light that just made it look like a Rembrandt painting.

Emma Sage and I got home and went inside to hear the phone ringing. I answered the phone and it was my sister Patti, telling me to turn on the news as a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I had a brief moment of fear..............I had worked for years in the area and at one point in my life, had dinner at least once a week at Windows of the World,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then another sinking fear, I was supposed to be at a financial conference put on by Risk/Waters magazine this morning, but I had turned the job down because I just couldn't leave Emma Sage.

I watched the TV,,,,,talking with Patti on the phone. I said to her that I couldn't believe a small plane could have done such damage. I started to cry...........holding Emma Sage in my arms, pacing back and forth, kissing her sweet head and talking with Patti.........
and then BAMM!!!!

In horror my sister and I [on the phone with each other] watched the second plane crash into the second tower. I knew as I watched the plane that it was a big commercial plane and at that exact moment I knew this was a calculated attack.

Patti and I were both crying,,,,,trying to come to terms with what we just saw. All along I clutched this precious child of mine to my chest. Not wanting to let go of her, afraid of what was going on.

This was familiar territory to me..........buildings that were an important part of my life. I watched these buildings being built,,,,,my father driving us to the city from time to time to marvel at the progress of the towers going up,up,up,,,up. A fellow skydiver friend of mine jumped off the Trade Center. I dined at Windows of the World weekly for a few years, I traveled through the towers everyday to the American Express tower in the Financial Trade Center and the building I worked in for Merrill Lynch was the last building to fall on that fateful day. As I watched the TV screen, I was paralyzed by fear and overcome by a sadness that was, to this day, so utterly profound.

I tried to call Rick and after hours I was finally able to get through to him in Canada to let him know what was happening in the states.

I then I felt so alone. Watching the horror unfold............talking to my sister and crying, and holding my precious little girl.

As time has moved forward, I realize that there is a reason for everything [sometimes many reasons] and I know that Emma Sage is a blessing in multiple ways..........but one incredible feeling I will never release is the feeling that I have knowing that her extra chromosome [her Down syndrome] is a major reason I was not at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Her birth made Rick and I realize that my being home with the children [but especially this child],,,,giving up much in the way of income,,,,meant that she would have only family to care for work with her,,,to help her develop to her fullest potential, and it kept me home on that fateful Tuesday in September.

Today I remember a dear friend, David E. Rivers,Editor of Risk/Waters Magazine.......You were truly an amazing man, editor, writer, friend, husband and father. David, you are missed dearly and will never be forgotten.

Memorial park ~ 9/11

This is the memorial at our township park.....these are beams from one of the World Trade Center buildings.

Otto helped place these flags on the field on Wednesday evening with his Boy Scout troop.......he said that each flag he placed, he had to hold back tears......

Written by a child........may we always remember.

........and on this Eve of September 11th, I reflect with even sadder and more profound tears of remembrance, as a very dear friend of mine was a first responder whose life has been deeply changed because of all he witnessed and dealt with on the scene.

I am humbled by the dignity, bravery, grace, compassion and nobility exhibited by all those who went forward without thought of themselves to help others.

I am saddened to hear others talk lightly about what happened.......and I pray that we never, ever forget what truly happened on that fateful day.

May we always remember.......

May we always remember........

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Quiet Reflection

Quiet Reflection
Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.” ~Barbara De Angelis

I took this today at our Church picnic........we were waiting on the banks of the South Branch of the Raritan River for the ducks to float downstream for the 'Duck Race'.....

Little Miss loves the water [as does her Momma......this is the same place I have been coming to since I was a little girl, to sit out on the water on a rock and read or just daydream]

Lately, I have been struggling......being pulled in so many directions. Giving so much of myself on so many levels and today, just standing in the water [yes, I took off my shoes and had to wade in] I realized that these quiet times......these moments of reflection are what have been missing in my life.

I took a hot bath tonight.......and I'm leaving the 'To-Do' list sitting on the table. It will be there tomorrow and I can only do what I can do. It is a difficult journey flying solo all the time, but it is not impossible. I just need to keep repeating to myself "I can only do what I can do ~ and it is going to be OK"

So sweet dreams world.......

Tomorrow is another day.