Sunday, September 27, 2009


Yesterday was a day of it had been three years since my beloved Mother left her earthly bounds.

One thing that I have realized for a long time, is that I am usually the one behind the lens, capturing photographs of the moments of my and my families life journey. As I sat and watched the images of my Mother on my screen, I realized that I needed to make sure that I'm in more photographs, just for memories sake, as I would have been so sad if I did not have these little glimpses in time to reflect back on and remember how my mother looked throughout her life time.

Photography has always been a passion of mine [but I really dislike myself in photographs, so hiding behind the lens has always been my way of staying out of photographs]

So yesterday, after taking a few hundred photographs of our day......[which I need to share of Emma Sage] as we went for a walk, went to a book signing [Jerome the Gnome] went to the graveyard and then I was off to a babyshower. Of the 400+ images I shot of these moments, I decided to turn the camera on myself and take a self-portrait. I shot 8 frames [actually, Emma Sage shot them, as we set the camera up on an upside down clay pot [from my garden bench] placed it on the picnic table and then I set the timer, and when I sat down, I had Emma Sage push the button, giving me 10 seconds to stare into the lens and pray a good image was captured.....trying to look deep into the lens so that when my children look at this photograph many years from now, they will say "I remember Mom at 45....."

So here is what I came up with.....

Me, myself and I

and here is one that Emma Sage took of my Mother and I, the March before she passed away. I treasure this photograph, as I don't have too many of she and I together as adults ~ as I was usually the one photographing, or we were always in big, group shots.

Me and my Mom

So, I guess the point of my story here is, feel good in your own skin, take the time to capture moments....but make sure you are in the photographs some of the time, and hug your Mother, as when she is gone, the loss is great.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Flower Shop.....

flower shop

My dear friend Fran is at it again......Thank you for bring a huge smile to my face and lifting my spirits!! You truly are a gem and I'm so blessed our paths have crossed.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Eight years ago..........September 11, 2001

Eight years ago.............our world shook. It wasn't because of a natural disaster, like the Tsunami or Hurricane Katrina, but it was a far worse disaster ~ because it was created by human hatred

Life for our family is good [we are truly blessed] and the morning of September 11, 2001 found us in our typical daily routine.........up early, breakfast, drive the children to school and then Emma Sage and I would come home to a quite morning.

Rick was in Montreal, Canada, for school [we had been up to see him a week earlier and spent a glorious vacation touring Montreal, driving home Labor Day weekend.........because of the terror attacks Rick was not able to return home to us for days.]

I dropped Katrina and Greta off at Woodglen and then drove down the valley to drop Otto off at school at Valley View. On the way to Valley View I noticed a plane flying very low..........lower than I have ever seen a commercial flight on the flight pattern we see from our area heading to Newark Airport. I notice planes all the time because of Ricks career in aviation. I shrugged it off as maybe I was just off my bearings that morning.

It was truly a glorious September day,,,,,,,,,,,,,the sky was bright blue, the air was dry and warm, the landscape was draped in light that just made it look like a Rembrandt painting.

Emma Sage and I got home and went inside to hear the phone ringing. I answered the phone and it was my sister Patti, telling me to turn on the news as a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I had a brief moment of fear..............I had worked for years in the area and at one point in my life, had dinner at least once a week at Windows of the World,,,,,,,,,,,,,and then another sinking fear, I was supposed to be at a financial conference put on by Risk/Waters magazine this morning, but I had turned the job down because I just couldn't leave Emma Sage.

I watched the TV,,,,,talking with Patti on the phone. I said to her that I couldn't believe a small plane could have done such damage. I started to cry...........holding Emma Sage in my arms, pacing back and forth, kissing her sweet head and talking with Patti.........
and then BAMM!!!!

In horror my sister and I [on the phone with each other] watched the second plane crash into the second tower. I knew as I watched the plane that it was a big commercial plane and at that exact moment I knew this was a calculated attack.

Patti and I were both crying,,,,,trying to come to terms with what we just saw. All along I clutched this precious child of mine to my chest. Not wanting to let go of her, afraid of what was going on.

This was familiar territory to me..........buildings that were an important part of my life. I watched these buildings being built,,,,,my father driving us to the city from time to time to marvel at the progress of the towers going up,up,up,,,up. A fellow skydiver friend of mine jumped off the Trade Center. I dined at Windows of the World weekly for a few years, I traveled through the towers everyday to the American Express tower in the Financial Trade Center and the building I worked in for Merrill Lynch was the last building to fall on that fateful day. As I watched the TV screen, I was paralyzed by fear and overcome by a sadness that was, to this day, so utterly profound.

I tried to call Rick and was finally able to get through to him in Canada to let him know what was happening in the states.

I then I felt so alone. Watching the horror unfold............talking to my sister and crying, and holding my precious little girl.

As time has moved forward, I realize that there is a reason for everything [sometimes many reasons] and I know that Emma Sage is a blessing in multiple ways..........but one incredible feeling I will never release is the feeling that I have knowing that her extra chromosome [her Down syndrome] is a major reason I was not at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Her birth made Rick and I realize that my being home with the children [but especially this child],,,,giving up much in the way of income,,,,meant that she would have only family to care for work with her,,,to help her develop to her fullest potential, and it kept me home on that fateful Tuesday in September.

Today I remember a dear friend, David E. Rivers,Editor of Risk/Waters Magazine.......You were truly an amazing man, editor, writer, friend, husband and father. David, you are missed dearly and will never be forgotten.

Memorial park ~ 9/11

This is the memorial at our township park.....these are beams from one of the World Trade Center buildings.

3,715 flags.......

Otto helped place these flags on the field on Wednesday evening with his Boy Scout troop.......he said that each flag he placed, he had to hold back tears......

Writen by a child........may we always remember.